The primary existential problem asks and tries to answer the question, “Who or what am I?” However, the question doesn’t come without hidden assumptions yet to be revealed to the questioner. For example, I might assume that I am this ever growing and changing body, including its senses. At least I know that I am connected with it and cannot disconnect with it as far as I know.
If I think about this more, I might ask myself who is it that uses the eyes, the ears, the nose, the tongue and touch? Who is it that thinks and speaks internally? At this point I only have guesses which are inadequate.
Now, let’s put this existential problem into a fitting Zen framework. Imagine that you are visiting your teacher for the very first time. This is an important interview. You enter the room, bow then sit at a respectful distance from your new teacher. So far so good. But then he looks at you and asks, “Who or what drags your body of flesh around, covers it with a robe, and seeks enlightenment? When you have the right answer, comeback and I will test you.”
Immediately, you think to yourself, “That’s it? After all this trouble I have been through just getting to this temple and learning the language?”
Believe it or not we all have what it takes to answer the teacher’s question. Studying Zen in an Asian country; becoming a monk or a nun isn’t, magically, going to help us answer the question, “Who or what am I?” or “Who or what drags my body of flesh around, covers it with a robe and seeks enlightenment?”
In this predicament, whether we know it or not, we are expected to turn away from the six senses in order to find the right answer — the very same answer Siddhartha found under the Bodhi-tree.
Any authentic Zen teacher wants us to look for the answer in a place the six senses can’t go. Yep, sounds simple. But from Zen’s mysterious angle this is the most difficult thing that you will ever do in this life or the next.
To walk on the path of Zen requires intuition. Such intuition is not taught in our elementary schools or our universities. We have no idea what it is. Back to our imaginary Zen temple. The teacher is supposed to teach us a path based on intuition. The question he asked can only be answered through intuition — not the intellect which only intensifies the problem. Without intuition the question turns into a barrier that we cannot pass through no matter how hard we try. The intellect may work for everyday problems but not for Zen.
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