Most of us are familiar with the story of "Echo and Narcissus" in Ovid's Metamorphoses. For this blog's purpose it is about a beautiful youth in Greek mythology who pines away for love of his own reflection; who is then turned, eventually, into the narcissus flower.
You might say that Narcissus suffered from exaggerated self-love which is what the Hollywood stars do on a regular basis whose narcissism encompasses their entire physical bodies. To a certain extent this is normal in the growth and development of the child—but not in adults. In the child and even the adolescent, this is called primary narcissism. The Buddhist dictum: this is mine, I am this, this is my self, would easily apply to the growing child and the adolescent who are narcissistic.
Beyond this, when one becomes an adult, Buddhism argues that such an identification is not logical since it can be observed that physical bodies grow old and eventually perish from various causes. Overly investing in one’s psychophysical life and existence as if it were the actual self is a foolish gamble. We see proof of this in the Mahāpuṇṇama Sutta (MN 109)
What do you think, mendicants? Is form permanent or impermanent?”
“Impermanent, sir.”
“But if it’s impermanent, is it suffering or happiness?”
“Suffering, sir.”
“But if it’s impermanent, suffering, and perishable, is it fit to be regarded thus: ‘This is mine, I am this, this is my self’?”
“No, sir.”
“What do you think, mendicants? Is feeling … perception … choices … consciousness permanent or impermanent?”
“Impermanent, sir.”
“But if it’s impermanent, is it suffering or happiness?”
“Suffering, sir.”
“But if it’s impermanent, suffering, and perishable, is it fit to be regarded thus: ‘This is mine, I am this, this is my self’?”
“No, sir.”
“So you should truly see any kind of form at all—past, future, or present; internal or external; coarse or fine; inferior or superior; far or near: *all* form—with right understanding: ‘This is not mine, I am not this, this is not my self.’
You should truly see any kind of feeling … perception … choices … consciousness at all—past, future, or present; internal or external; coarse or fine; inferior or superior; far or near, *all* consciousness—with right understanding: ‘This is not mine, I am not this, this is not my self.’
Seeing this, a learned noble disciple grows disillusioned with form, feeling, perception, choices, and consciousness.
Being disillusioned, desire fades away. When desire fades away they’re freed. When they’re freed, they know they’re freed.
They understand: ‘Rebirth is ended, the spiritual journey has been completed, what had to be done has been done, there is no return to any state of existence.’”
That is what the Buddha said. Satisfied, the mendicants were happy with what the Buddha said. And while this discourse was being spoken, the minds of sixty mendicants were freed from defilements by not grasping.
This particular discourse, if we think about it, represents a break with primary narcissism in the same way we eventually give up our toys. At some point in our youth it should begin to dawn on us that our embodied condition is limited—we can die.
Where excessive attachment to primary narcissism is still going on during the early part of adult life, this continuation then becomes dysfunctional. It is what is called a “narcissistic personality disorder.”
The Buddhist notion of “no self” (anātman) addresses this kind of narcissism—but it is not a form of nihilism as if to suggest there is no such thing other than the body and the temporal life which ends in ashes. Far from it. Traditional Buddhism is about withdrawing identification of our self from that which is not our self where the right dictum should be: this is not mine, I am not this, this is not my self.
Narcissus only found substance, like today’s narcissists, in what was only shadow—a mere illusion. The narcissist wants himself. So the self becomes the five aggregates, namely, form … feeling … perception … choices … consciousness. But what the narcissist seeks is nowhere to be found. It’s all empty.
If Narcissus could manage to turn away from gazing at the reflection of himself in the pool of shining water he would then, instantly, regain his true self! But this illusion is too strong to turn away from. It is conditioned; it appears at times beautiful. The more he gazes at this reflection the more he desires it, holding on to it at any cost. And the more we gaze at the five aggregates, called Mara's bait, unable to turn away from the aggregates and thus regain our true self, the more we become like Narcissus.