Was Zen finally speaking to me?

Several years after World War II, my teacher studied with Hodo Tobase in San Francisco. Tobase was part of the Soto Mission from Japan. The name of the temple of the Soto mission was Sokoji.  My teacher was a graduate student who was a part-time monk at the temple.  There was also a Japanese nun who resided there.  My teacher told me that Tobase was a Zen master and a rather famous calligrapher. His main duties involved serving the Japanese community in the city which went to the Soto temple. 

The image of Zen Buddism back then and into the 60s was still with the glow of something mysterious and deeply spiritual. It hadn't as yet turned into Za-Zen (lit., sit down Zen). Zen was still trying to find its voice in America; to speak to us about its most profound message. But, in my estimation, Za-Zen took over.  The quest of Zen to find its voice in America in some ways failed. So here we are today.  

It is difficult to find a Zen temple in the West not almost completely dedicated to teaching sitting meditation.  Zazen practice turned into almost a cure-all for what psychologically ails us.  As a result, what Buddhism and Zen are really about gets pushed to the back burner.  Just sit is the most important part of Zen.  But in truth it is not.  Sitting is a tool.  Just like reading the sermons of Zen masters or the words of the Buddha.  Being mindful is also a tool not only of our actions but of our thoughts, as well.  These tools are useful.  However, they are not ends in themselves.

Earlier, when I mentioned Zen trying to find its voice in America, what I meant by this is that Zen, in a way, must speak directly to us in a spiritual way.  It has to tell us at some point that it is about seeing our true nature in addition to providing us with some useful clues about this true nature or essence.  During those early formative years with my teacher I didn’t hear the voice of Zen.  It had not spoken to me.  I almost became a Zen priest parrot, you could say—or a priest monkey.  Finally, I began to see a direction in Zen.  Was Zen finally speaking to me?

As fate would have it, I was about to begin the most fascinating, wild and crazy adventure I could imagine, and all because I was deeply interested in the real voice of Zen; not just sitting on my backsides.  This is when I met the rotund, bespectled Bishop Nippo Shaku who was teaching at the California Institue of Asian Sutdies. 

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[Kantairon]

The Nirvana Sutra says: "After I have passed away [...] and the Middle Day of the Law has begun, there will be monks who will give the appearance of abiding by the rules of monastic discipline. But they will scarcely ever read or recite the sutras, and instead will crave all kinds of food and drink to nourish their bodies. [...] They will be like a cat on the prowl for mice. And constantly they will reiterate these words: 'I have attained arhatship!' Outwardly they will seem to be wise and good, but within they will harbor greed and jealousy. [And when they are asked to preach the teachings,] they will remain silent, like Brahmans who have taken a vow of silence. They are not true monks -- they merely have the appearance of monks. Consumed by their erroneous views, they slander the correct teaching."

The Lotus Sutra says: "In a muddied kalpa, in an evil age there will be many things to fear. Evil demons will take possession of others and through them curse, revile and heap shame on us…. The evil monks of that muddied age, failing to understand the Buddha’s expedient means, how he preaches the Law in accordance with what is appropriate, will confront us with foul language and angry frowns; again and again we will be banished."