An honest exploration of Zen Buddhism

A wise person, the more they dive into Buddhism and explore its territory, the less likely they are to make pronouncements that the Buddha, for example, denied the self, or Buddhism is not a mystical religion.  An honest exploration of Buddhism is not about a rush to judgement which it often is for the beginner or dilettante.  The beginner’s question of what is Zen cannot be straightaway answered; not because there is no answer to his question but the answer is beyond his capabilities to comprehend it.  He is spiritually immature.

In my case, one of the first things that I learned when I begin my study of Zen during the early 1960s is the impossibility of understanding what Zen was pointing to, especially, in the example of koans.  I also learned not to believe everything my teacher said to me like the time he told me he was the Tathagata or that emptiness is pregnant nothingness!  As much as some Buddhist have a tendency to believe only what their teachers tell them, their teaching has to be understood relative to the Buddha’s discourses.  These discourses are of great help in trying to get to first base in Buddhism.  They  have to be read carefully.  There is a lot of nuance that goes into them.  When I was a beginner I was not prepared for such subtlety.  I would add to this and say that Buddhism, and especially Zen cannot be learned in a fortnight.

The first order of business for a raw beginner (I can remember this well) is just learning to be aware of your internal dialogue and emotions, not to mention learning to be aware of the immediate world around you.  This takes a  long time and serious commitment.  The second order of business is learning to sit patiently still in a place far away from the human world.  Sometimes I would sit by a waterfall, or beside a stream, or in an abandoned copper mine.  Here, the trick is to make the physical body get in sync with the surrounding environment.  Instead of it being always in sync with traffic noise, sirens, and the subtle energy of other humans near by, it is adapting to a new environment.  This helps to get rid of the subtle tensions which block our ability to focus.  The third order of business is to read what the Buddha taught carefully noting what you understand and what you don’t understand.  As strange as this may sound, you have to be very honest about what you don’t understand.  And why?  Because you haven’t awakened to the absolute.  You are is a state of profound ignorance.

If you are lucky, it will dawn on you that you must awaken to something quite profound that you’ve never been acquainted with before which transcends all your assumptions about what reality is.  In my own example, it dawned upon me to awaken to pure Mind.  I had become quite aware of what my impure monkey mind was.  After all I had spent years being aware of my internal dialogue and my forever changing emotions.  There was nothing pure or immaculate here!  This brings us to the most difficult part: ceasing being a victim of samsara; attempting, for the first time, to leave it behind by seeing what is non-samsaric and transcends the monkey mind banging around in the skull between our ears.

Comments

[Thezennist]

Susan:

In 1969 when I looked at the comic book sky, I had been involved with the holy quest of Zen since 1965. It took me a long time to aim my bow and arrow, so to speak, and like Schopenhauer said, hit a target no one else can see. Hitting this target gave me the ability to do one pointedness of mind, over and over again. I think in someways, looking back, it was like sending a signal to the Buddhas, "Hey dudes, I need some real help." Then in 1976 my SOS signal was answered.

[Susan]

Eidolon, I'm not giving you advice, but I think this may clear something up for you. In the book, _Zen: Merging of East and West_ by Philip Kapleau [the sequel to _The 3 Pillars of Zen_] read the 21st question in the chapter "The Dialogues." (p.51 of the paperback--it's probably in your local library.] As I read your note here, it reminded me of the experience of the WWII ex-soldier turned plumber who tried to recapture a memory of awakening. We all just need to go on...and not focus on some evanescent experience that happened in the past. Our practice is new every moment. You will never "recover that state." Good experiences in the past will give you faith--that's not inconsiderable! (Right, Zenmar?) But that's all.

[Eidolon]

One further point re the experience I recounted here: at the time it happened, I was not meditating or even very calm. I had been jogging when it was about 100 degrees, and I was sweaty, tired and uncomfortable. I was also impatient to get home and shower so I could go to the zendo and meditate in the evening. I caught something from the corner of my eye, I thought it was a rat, I looked over and saw instead just a plant, and whammo, the act of looking at that plant somehow sent me into another dimension, everything changed totally and instantly.

[Thezennist]

Eidolon:

I think before I said that awakening to Mind is like the clouds opening up and the sun appearing. Wow! But we are cloud generators (our vasana = habit energy). Soon we put back the clouds. It's not that what you experienced ever went away. The sun is still there.

[Thezennist]

Glen Zorn:

Cetana-tattva (animative principle), the most primordial first-person, universal essence, etc.