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January 03, 2012


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My Master told me;

"The evil one shows you exactly what your powerful subsconscious master wants you to see. That is, in accordance with your spirits available merit in the alaya receptacle. Thus the illusion becomes perfect and your ability to escape it, close to impossible. Buddha warned humanity explicitly about this wanting and the misfortune it brings to anyone in its grip. Here poor merit, offers poor realities with much suffering and rich merit, offers rich realities with little suffering. At least in the beginning. The end is always the same.

It´s a vicious, endless cycle of birth and death. The only way to win the game here, is to find a crack in the wall and penetrate it to the other side, where the crown of your true nature awaits you."

This seems to be the most common mistake and Mara's greatest trick. It is almost impossible to defeat it. I, as of now, have not yet been able to. What use is to pretend? You can convince other people, but brutal honesty is better in the long run. And by "long run" we mean aeons upon aeons in Buddhism.

In all honesty, the "Mind" I found so far, is just "Mind" as an object, as a concept. No matter how intricate, how well-constructed this "Mind" I image is, how philosophically sophisticated - it's not it, because there is still an "I" thinking about a "Mind".

Hence, there's duality here, "being conscious of being conscious", as the Zennist says.

I thought I found what I was looking for, but I only found more delusion. I tried many things and many practices; I'm still studying the Sutras. Recently, I read Han Shan's Maxims - profound teachings there by a great Chán figure.

Perhaps it's when I'll really try everything and get tired of all the "methods" that the "methodless method" will show itself to me. Many stories go like that. The German poet, Hölderlin, wrote:

"But where danger is, grows the saving power also."

It can give us all hope.

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