In Stephen Batchelor's book Buddhism Without Beliefs we learned that Mr. Batchelor liked his Buddhism agnostic although the book was that of a skeptic. In his next book, Confession of a Buddhist Atheist, we learn Batchelor doesn't like anything transcendent—this includes karma and rebirth. Well, this is as far as I dare go. I have never read Batchelor's second book, but I have read the title and the works of other book reviewers who reviewed, Confession of a Buddhist Atheist. Nonetheless, Batchelor’s latest book (the title) has been an inspiration.
I thought I would like to write a book entitled Confession of a Buddhist Hedonist based on a fictitious character by the name of Jack Crowley (no connection with the Aleister Crowley of O.T.O.). If possible, I would like to make some money like Stephen and others by exploiting Buddhism as much as I can. I could use the dough.
The first part of my book would mainly deal with Jack's drug crazed life in high school and all the girls he had sex with. The second part of the book would be about Jack's travels through Europe, the Middle East and Central Asia, still having lots of sex, until finally in India he decides to become a Tibetan Buddhist monk after he realizes he can't continue his life this way, being almost a sex addict.
After Jack becomes a monk he eventually becomes disillusioned deciding to call it quits because he can't understand why Buddhism is so much against sex and having a good time. His next adventure finds him in South Korea having sex with some delightful Korean girls. Jack again decides to become a monk entering a Zen monastery; apparently not having learned anything in the Tibetan monastery. Once again Jack becomes disillusioned. He learns that Zen (K., Son) looks down upon sex, so Jack disrobes.
Jack then decides to go back to his homeland where sex and hedonism are okay. To make a long story short, Jack marries his old girlfriend Wanda who was once a follower of Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh the so-called "sex guru".
In the last part of the book, Jack endeavors to show that the young Siddhartha, before he became the Buddha, was a party animal at heart who had sex with lots of young women in his father's palace in every conceivable way before he got married to Yoshadara and had a kid both of whom he dumped for a life on the road.
Jack sees Siddhartha like himself who renounced the world by becoming a celibate; who tried it out for a while, but eventually renounced it, after which a young maiden by the name of Sujata gave him an elixir to drink which enabled him to see the truth under the Bodhi-tree. When Siddhartha finally awakened he realized that everything is the enlightened nature, even having sex. After this, now a complete Buddha, Siddhartha went back to his wife who was really hot looking; who loved to have sex.
In the last chapter of the book, Jack concludes that the popular Buddhism we are familiar with is little more than monkish revisionism. Jack theorizes that some of the Buddha’s own monks poisoned him because they found his relationship with his wife disgusting. What we believe today is Buddhism is not authentic Buddhism. Jack, together with his wife Wanda, then decide to share true Buddhism with the world; a Buddhism where sex and a good time are allowed.
Well, there is my idea for a good Buddhist book in a nutshell. I admit it will be a lot like Batchelor's new book. Also I want to apologize to the reader. I could have done a better job of writing this blog. But I had to get my thoughts down on paper, so to speak, so I wouldn't forget this great idea. I know this book will be a real money-maker. [wink...wink...]
Interesting idea. Check out 'Turtle Feet' by Nikolai Grozni; it's the true story of a "typical" college kid (albeit a music prodigy) who becomes a Tibetan monk. There's quite an interesting cast of characters on the same quest, and it paints a somewhat unexpected picture of monastic life.
Posted by: Keen_eddie | September 27, 2010 at 05:09 AM