Seeing into our Buddha-nature comes as the result of a long tenure with spiritual training. But learning who we are, in a psychosocial sense, is much different. The greater portion of it concerns getting beyond what psychologist Erik Erikson calls the stage of identity vs. role confusion (the 5th stage) to the higher stage of young adulthood (the 6th stage). The essence of this can be found in Shakespeare's Hamlet in the scene where Polonius gives his son Laertes some fatherly advice who will travel abroad being on his own. In this regard, memorable are the words of Polonius: "This above all: to thine own self be true.”
Failing to arrive at psychosocial identity in which one should have a psychosocial self to which they can be true is a serious matter. As might be expected, not having achieved identity one is always in a continual state of role confusion and incompleteness; switching from one role to another trying to find out what works best. This is somewhat akin to Freud’s ego which is supposed to establish the reality-principle but lacks sufficient power to control the id, as it must.
All of this becomes intensely problematic when a lack of identity is pushed onto the world of Buddhism—Buddhism being expected to get one over the psychosocial mountains of role confusion. But this may end up, however, turning Buddhism into something it is not. It may also serve to obscure the real mission of Buddhism which wants us to see our Buddha-nature.
Speaking now in light of my own observations over these many years, it is rare not to meet role-confused young adults who are struggling to join the adult world; who are still in a search for identity. When such individuals enter the world of Buddhism, Buddhist teachers are often expected to correct past child rearing mistakes, almost magically presenting identity on a silver platter to those who are still role confused!
Well, Buddhism doesn’t work this way. When entering into the world of Buddhism, foremost, one needs self-identity insofar as Buddhism by design appeals to reason and circumspection which are the main components of this self. But if one is still intensely preoccupied with the questions of role as in, "Who am I, how do I fit in? Where am I going in life?" they can’t be much good at accurately following the path of Buddhism which demands we acquire the aryan or noble vision.
In more detail, the aryan vision consists in being able to noetically distinguish the temporal aggregates of body, feelings, thoughts, inclinations, and sensory awareness from the self (atma), or the same, our Buddha-nature. Here, the self is not a psychosocial self. It transcends it, that is, transcends the temporal aggregates just mentioned. Whereas the normal adult self or ego continually works on behalf of the aggregates, to maintain their health and integrity, the higher self or Buddha self is removed from the fear, inherent in the aggregates and their dissolution. It alone fully knows the end of suffering. It is also our refuge, as the Buddha points out before his own aggregated body died.
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