The aware child

One of the main differences between Buddhist parents and non-Buddhist parents is that the latter places obedience to the fore of child development whereas Buddhist parents emphasize awareness (apramatta: awareness, not careless, conscientious, undistracted, attentive).

Children learning to be aware of what they do in play or in school is much different than being the subject of a rule system.  What needs to be emphasized is that children who are aware are also empathetic—but they can also understand rules although rules are not primary whereas awareness of others and self is.  If we think of compassion, care (apramatta) towards others is necessary.

When children who have never been raised in an enviroment of awareness grow up they are often easily distracted (pramatta) showing, also, little or no care towards others.  But worse, they seem to have little or no ability to meditate.  In this regard, the Buddha says in the Dhammapada, “Meditating (dhyana/zen-na), the one who is aware (apramatta) obtains great bliss” (27).  

Teaching a child to be aware is not difficult if we ourselves are also aware.  The payoff of an aware child is they can be trusted under all circumstances to make the wisest choice.  This means they can enjoy their play, as much as enjoy exploring the world around them being conscientious.  They also tend to follow a path of harmony and avoid people who are unaware and somewhat brutish; who are slaves to their senses.

Comments

[Bodhiratna]

Well Reiko, no doubt some parents do really spend plenty of time with their children while teaching them shooting guns and/or eating hamburgers together at Micky D or spending 'quality' time at Mao-mart. Do these activities teach the children the skill in awareness or empathy for other?

Spending time with kids does not mean exercising awareness. Awareness, as explained in Buddhism, is not to get entrained with phenomena/sense stimulus thus that one is always centered and calm. By being centered and calm, one opens one's mind up to 'true seeing'.

And, for an 'advanced' nation such as the US (and Western Europe too), there are certainly more violent children here in the state as we speak. But don't blame them entirely, just look at the lifestyle of their parents and draw your own conclusion :)

Bodhiratna

[Reiko]

If the genital measurements are finished now, I would like to say that good parenting or bad parenting are not exclusive to one geography. I have observed that when parents take the time to really be with their child, their best instincts will usually kick in. Awareness is a quality that can be encouraged in a child and probably nurtures a sense of empathy with all beings. Thank you for this article.

[zengirl]

Quoting drooling redneck:
"The peoples who created the wost abominations of torture and inhumanity to others come from SE Asia & Japan."

Your insight into the history of mankind equals the summer classes of deficient children in urgent need of professional help. They try and try but what goes in, comes out quicker then a rat on fire.

I hate to be cruel honey but face it, you are nothing less then a whining pipsqueak, looking for a captive audience capable of enduring your witless prattle. In the face of the author you still remain this uneaqualed paragon of a spiritual embarrassment.

Zengirl
(Enlightenment is never pink - bummer!)

[Bodhiratna]

Good article!, certainly these redneck American kids are products of drunk mothers and toothless, gun toting, tobacco and drug chewing fathers, LOL

One can expect these kids grow up to be nothing but psychopaths in the American society later on. These American mothers should have abortion and save the world some griefs!

And those Japanese were smart when they slaughtered those 'Christian Scums' that arrived on their shore.

They see these scums are nothing but bunch of hypocrites who tried to stuff garbage religion down their throats. Good ridden :)

Bodhiratna

[Capt.Knuckle&Flapjack]

Your premise is more full of BS than a constipated bovine.

The peoples who created the wost abominations of torture and inhumanity to others come from SE Asia & Japan.

The "Christian scum" as declared by the pseudo intellectuals like yourself, give out more $$, food, and support, than all other places on earth COMBINED.

So much for your flatulent pontifications...