"The clear Self has been soiled by primal and adventitious defilements and (therefore) is regarded like a soiled garment which have been washed off." — Sagathakam (Lankavatara Sutra)
Self or atman (P., atta) should not be construed by us as being akin to ‘personality’ which is strictly a temporal condition, i.e., a mask (persona) fitted over the enduring spirit. It is nothing of the sort.
The Self refers to what is actual within us: the actual that is opposed to the unreal. The unreal, on the other hand, is what can be added or taken way from the actual—the latter being always unaffected. Considering the example of a soiled garment, the actual is never removed by washing the soiled garment. Only adventitious defilements can be removed while the garment's immaculate nature remains steadfast throughout the washing process.
To find our true Self, we never begin with the actual Self. We begin, instead, in bondage to a simulacrum of the Self called the anatman or literally, not-the-self. In this position, we are so thoroughly maculated that were we to be suddenly cleansed of our adventitious impurities, we would be someone quite different; someone profoundly divine.
In the Buddha’s time, many believed they understood the Self; that it was something perceptually discernible. They produced various representations of it like modern day religionists produce various representations of God. Of the various representations of the Self, the Buddha said the Self is, essentially, undiscernible because the Self is not temporal. What is spiritually actual is always beyond the discernible since it it outside the bourn of the temporal.
It is certainly a frustrating undertaking to look for something which is finer than the nets we employ to capture it. And considering that our temporal senses are net-like, how is it possible to discern the undiscernible since it is not 'a something', that is, something for our senses to receive? It would be a fool’s errand to do so.
Much of the present day confusion about Self (atman) in Buddhism perhaps stems from its undiscernible nature such that when we look for it, we find nothing except the Five Aggregates which, I hasten to add, belong to Mara the Evil One. But that we are unable to find it within the bourn of the Five Aggregates should only tell us that we must conduct our search differently. But to deny it because one can’t find it is absurd.
The Self is always implicit in our actions although we are unable to see it that way. Instead, we are mesmerized by the adventitious defilements which then become our lodestar, not to mention our instrument for determining what is actual from what is unreal and false!
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